Saturday, April 5, 2008

Does this Paint Make me Look Fat?

Chris and I are right in the middle of remodel. We're finally to the point where we get to pick paint. We should be thrilled that we are so close to being done. But, picking paint is fraught with anxiety.

While researching, we bought painting magazines. We started paying more attention to the walls in homes than the actual people living in them. We got fistfuls of paint swatches and started talking in terms of "Glorious Wheat Gold" and "Golden Glorious Wheat." Was one more yellow hued than the other? Perhaps "Golden Glorious Wheat" had too much peach tones in it?

My friend, noted painter Jody Bergsma, shared her philosophy about interior paint, "It needs to be skin toned so people feel comfortable in your house."

Okay. We got more fistfuls of paint swatches, all different tones of fleshy skin. Holding them up to the wall creeped me out. I worried they would start growing arms. I suspected this was not the "comfortable" feeling Jody was waxing rhapsodic about.

After endless discussion, we chose color 2004-8C, "Warm Cappuccino" for most of the house, with "Mesa Sand" 2004-8B as a secondary color and finally, two teensy accent walls of 2008-3A "Coffee Whip." Those are the actual color swatches pictured above courtesy of

The painting is done. We went and looked at it today.

It. Is. Hideous.

The entire place looks like the inside of a giant mutant shell. Pink, pink, pink everywhere you look. We are both hoping that the furniture miraculously fixes everything and our "Warm Cappuccino" goes back to a normal latte coffee. Otherwise, we'll be living inside a pink shell, forever ruing the day we decided that a new coat of paint was a good idea.